MARC Money

This is not looking good for me. You see, I promised the MARC-ons a flood of money-saving ideas the MTA could employee to scrape together a million dollars here and there. Well as you can see there are no comments on the Don't Hold Your Breath posting last week. So I have taken the liberty to suggest a few tips myself. Perhaps this will dislodged the fingers of my many readers' and permit them to type in a few of their own.

1. The first and easiest way to scrape together fast cash is to check between the cushions of the couches and chairs. You've done this at home and in college to help pay the rent or buy food. Now, the MARC fleet of single- and double-decker carriages has thousands of these little coin caches. The mind reels at the thought of how much rent and food you could score with that kind of treasure just waiting to be found.

2. Stop paying for the design and production of MARC train schedules. If I were the Knuckledragger-in-Chief of MARC, this is the first thing I would cut. If they are spending a dime they are spending half a million dollars publishing fictitious arrival and departure times. Not only are they completely arbitrary but they only set MARC management up for failure. If there is no schedule, MARC can hardly be accused of being behind it, now, can they?

3. Stop putting up those ridiculous electronic message marquees. There is no message of half of them all the time. The other half simply do not work. Talk about a waste of money! To recoup some of these squandered dollars I suggest the marquees be listed for sale on popular Internet classified and auction web sites like eBay.

More to come...